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Minggu, Juni 22, 2008

The Three Pillars of Self Confidence

The search for true self confidence leads all of us in different directions. We all desire the magic pill that will instantly bring us the qualities and personality of someone with true self confidence. Confidence is not something that can be acquired simply by reading multiple self help books. It can not be acquired by taking action one day and then deciding it did not work. It certainly will not be acquired by sitting around imagining yourself with it. True self confidence will only become a fabric of you through repeated education, experience and faith.

The first pillar of self confidence is education. My first instinct to acquiring self confidence was to read books and listen to CDs about it. The next level of education started when I persistently asked those who already had it how they achieved it. I found educating myself through books, CDs and other�s personal experiences immediately gave me the foundation. The most important step in the education process was to only apply my learning to one area of my life. For example, I wanted self confidence in my profession which was sales and marketing. I read books on finding prospects and closing deals. I also asked the most successful marketing and sales professionals how they handled certain situations. Be specific when you start the learning process. We all want self confidence in all areas of our life whether it is relationships, career or physical appearance. Amazingly, once you start to educate yourself in a specific context, you will see that you can apply it to all areas of your life.

The second pillar of self confidence is experience. A more direct way to state this is take action. We have all been guilty of educating ourselves and suddenly realizing we have made a great discovery. The problem that most of us have is once we acquire the information we fail to take action on it. I will be the first to admit this. Do the action that will bring you confidence. If you are in sales and you have a problem closing deals with your prospects, ask for the sale. If you want to ask out some one on a date, simply ask for the date. Remember, the result is not what is important. In the short term, it does not matter if the person says yes or no. If you do get a yes, your self confidence will immediately get a boost. If you get a no, you will gain valuable experience that will help you the next time you ask. Failure is the most important element of experience. Read this sentence again. Those with the greatest self confidence still fail more often in their life than succeed. Accept failure as a stepping stone to unwavering self confidence. The reason is once true self confidence is attained; the mind no longer looks at results as failure but rather opportunity.

The third pillar is faith. Faith is that power that can not be measured like education and experience. Faith is an ingredient, when accepted, that will take you to higher levels not even imagined. I am not talking about blind, unprepared, careless faith. I am talking about educated, prepared and confident faith. True faith will be accomplished when you take action against your fears. You will know when you have real faith because you will thirst the knowledge, experiences and situations you once dreaded. You will no longer fear rejection, embarrassment or failure. Your faith will drive you through these fear thoughts. They will no longer be looked at as barriers but rather simple challenges that will only make you better in the long term.

Remember that all three pillars of self confidence have to be practiced and executed consistently. Faith breeds action. If you don�t believe, you will not take action. Education without experience is useless. If you do not take action, you will not learn. Work on all three pillars simultaneously in your daily life now and take the first step to true self confidence.

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